Whether you work in a rolling skyscraper somewhere in Manhattan or a small cramped up office space, there is always THAT one particular employee who manages to get on our nerves, intentionally or unintentionally. The relationship between employees in a company is somewhat… complicated, just like any other relationship in your life. In fact, a difficult colleague can annoy others to such an extent that it can make you hate going to work, regardless of your love for your job. Research by Quality Logo Products found that an annoying co-worker is a problem faced by more than 90% of Americans today. Not only that but these employees can become annoying to such an extent that almost 57% of people think about quitting their jobs just because of that employee.
But there are better ways to deal with difficult employees then to just quit the job that you prayed for. In this guide, we will explain some useful strategies to help you tackle such employees without hurting yourself or others.
Types of Difficult Colleagues
Not everyone you work with will be sunshine and rainbows (though that would be nice!). Here's a quick rundown of some common challenging colleagues you might encounter:
- The Gossip: This colleague thrives on workplace drama. They love to spread rumors and can turn a simple misunderstanding into a full-blown office saga.
- The Know-it-All: This colleague believes they have all the answers (even if they don't). They can be dismissive of others' ideas and dominate conversations.
- The Negative Nancy (or Ned): This colleague sees the dark cloud in every silver lining. Their constant negativity can bring down team morale and make even the most exciting project feel like a chore.
- The Slacker: This colleague lets others pick up the slack while they coast by. Their lack of effort can create extra work for you and hurt team productivity.
- The Credit Hog: This colleague loves to take credit for other people's work. They'll downplay your contributions and claim all the glory for a successful project.
- The Micromanager: This colleague needs to control everything. They hover over your work, second-guess your decisions, and make it impossible to feel trusted or independent.
- The Victim: This colleague always seems to be the target of misfortune. They blame others for their mistakes and play the martyr card to avoid taking responsibility.
Strategies for Dealing with Difficult Colleagues
Difficult colleagues can be like weeds in your professional garden – they steal your energy and make it hard for things to flourish. But fear not! Here are some strategies to help you navigate these challenging personalities and cultivate a more positive work environment:
Communication
When dealing with difficult colleagues, clear and professional communication is your secret weapon. Here's how to use it effectively:
- Speak Clearly and Directly: Don't beat around the bush. If a colleague's behavior is bothering you, address it in a respectful but firm way. Be specific about the issue and how it's impacting your work (e.g., "When deadlines are missed on our projects, it creates a lot of stress for me").
- Active Listening is Key: This isn't just about waiting for your turn to talk. Truly listen to their perspective without interrupting. Pay attention to their body language and tone of voice. Summarize what they've said to show that you're understanding their point of view (e.g., "So, it sounds like you feel frustrated when tasks are unclear").
- Acknowledge Concerns: Let them know their feelings are valid, even if you disagree. A simple "I understand why you might be upset..." can go a long way in diffusing tension.
Sometimes, difficult colleagues can be like energy vampires. Here are some techniques for setting boundaries to protect yourself:
- Limit Email Exchanges: If a colleague is prone to long, rambling emails, suggest switching to a quick in-person conversation to address the issue.
- The "Not Right Now" Technique: If a colleague tries to drag you into their negativity, politely excuse yourself. You can say, "I'm swamped right now, but maybe we can chat about this later when I have more time."
- The "Subject Change" Maneuver: If a conversation gets unproductive, gently steer it back on track. "That's an interesting point, but to get back to the project deadline...".
Focus on the Issue, Not the Person
Difficult colleagues can be like walking red flags, tempting you to focus on their personality flaws. But here's the secret: their personality isn't the problem, their behavior is. By shifting your focus, you can find solutions and achieve positive outcomes.
Separate the Behavior from the Colleague:
The key is to separate the behavior from the person. Instead of labeling them "The Know-it-All," focus on the specific behavior that bothers you, like constant interruptions or dismissive comments.
Finding Common Ground:
Difficult colleagues, believe it or not, probably want the same things you do: a successful project, a smooth workflow, and a positive work environment. Maybe they just have a different way of going about it. Instead of getting stuck in a battle of personalities, find common ground. Focus on the shared goals of the project and work together to find solutions that address both your needs and theirs.
Solutions, Not Accusations:
When addressing the issue, ditch the accusatory tone. Instead, focus on solutions. Phrase your concerns in terms of "how" to move forward, not "who" is to blame (e.g., "How can we ensure everyone feels heard during meetings?").
Maintain Professionalism
Difficult colleagues can be like emotional landmines, waiting to explode at any moment. But the key to navigating these situations is maintaining professionalism. This doesn't mean becoming a robot, but rather acting with maturity and composure.
First, resist the urge to gossip or stoop to their level of negativity. Engaging in negativity only escalates the situation and makes you look unprofessional. Instead, take the high road. This shows your maturity and reinforces the boundaries you've set.
Professionalism also means keeping your cool under pressure. If a situation gets heated, take a deep breath and excuse yourself if needed. It's perfectly okay to say, "Let's take a short break and come back to this when we've both calmed down." Returning to the conversation with a clear head allows for more productive communication and helps you avoid saying or doing something you might regret later.
Take Care of Yourself
Difficult colleagues can take a toll on your mental health. Make self-care a non-negotiable. Exercise is a great stress reliever, and relaxation techniques like meditation or deep breathing can help you unwind. Spending time with loved ones who support you can also boost your mood.
Everyone deals with stress differently. Find healthy coping mechanisms that work for you. Maybe it's listening to music, taking a walk in nature, or indulging in a creative hobby. Having these outlets allows you to de-stress and maintain a positive outlook, even when faced with challenging colleagues.
While these strategies can help you manage most difficult colleagues, there are times when seeking external support is necessary. If a colleague's behavior becomes severe, such as harassment, bullying, or discrimination, don't hesitate to reach out to HR. They are there to ensure a safe and respectful work environment for everyone. Additionally, if you've exhausted all other options and the situation remains unresolved, HR can mediate and help find a solution that works for all parties involved.
Remember, dealing with difficult colleagues is a skill you can develop. By following these tips, prioritizing self-care, and knowing when to seek help, you can navigate these challenges and create a more positive and productive work experience for yourself.
